When we face a difficult situation, a challenge, or a conflict, and that situation brings out in usstrong emotions or feelingsas well as a high level of inner conflict, it is usually because ournervous systemhas reactivated emotional energy linked to old, unresolved emotions.
The role of the nervous system and survival mechanisms
When the nervous system is activated in this way, it functions by"survival" mode, stuck in its automatic response mechanisms in the face of a threat it believes it perceives (the primary responses are flight or fight; if neither of these options is feasible, the system freezes).
In this activation, the intensity of the energy is so strong that it leads us to regress into ancient parts of our psyche—theseinjured areasthat were linked to the unresolved emotions we experience—and to act as if what these wounded parts perceived were reality.
Emotional identification and the cycle of thoughts
As long as we remain subject to this identification, we are trapped in cycles of actions and reactions where everything we do will be aimed at keeping the emotions and feelings that have been triggered at bay, or at blaming the situation or the people connected with those emotions. Furthermore, identification leads us to believe that our emotions are telling us something true about the situation.
As a result, thethoughts/emotions loopremains constantly active and continues to fuel the emotion with energy by keeping the system activated, preventing us from gaining the necessary perspective to recognize that the emotion is about the past, not the present situation.
Cellular memories and energy blockages
When these past emotions are not triggered, they remain dormant, as if hidden, lodged within ourthe body and our energy systemin the form of burdens, tensions, and contractions. These will become ingrained even in our cells, which then reproduce with thisenergy footprint, thereby passing on traumatic memories from one generation to the next.
Generally, we are so invested in our thoughts and in maintaining the structure of our personality that we do not consciously feel these emotions and feelings.
Yet we sense their presence, because our minds constantly process this information, seeking resolution in our relationship with the outside world. But we often remain terrified at the idea of coming into contact with them, imagining that delving deep within ourselves will awaken something bad or dysfunctional, causing us to sink or destroy ourselves.
Lifting resistance to release blocked energy
These fears create a form ofdissociationand keep our attention fixed on the periphery of our being: on the mental activity that gives rise to and sustains our sense of self, and on the construction of the countless strategies and mechanisms that this sense of self generates in an attempt to compensate for or keep all these memories at bay.
Without judging these mechanisms, we can see that continuing to keep emotions at bay keeps them locked inside our system. Resistance only serves to keep the things it seeks to get rid of blocked.
But what these emotions need is to finally bereleased. They can only be so if we choose to acknowledge them, then lift the lid off our resistance, and finally embrace them.
It is only in thiswarm welcome...when emotions are bathed in the caring light of our consciousness, they will be able to regain their ability to move, free themselves from control, and finally transform.
The metaphor of the caring parent: a path to healing
To understand this process, imagine a small child struggling with a difficult emotion. At that moment, they certainly don't need an adult who judges them, rejects them, and makes them feel that they shouldn't feel what they're feeling or that they need to change immediately.
On the contrary, what the child needs at that moment is acaring adultwho, with love, helps him understand that it’s normal to feel what he’s feeling. The child needs an adult to validate his emotions so he doesn’t have to disconnect from them. He needs the emotional closeness of a nurturing, loving adult who can stay with him and offer him asupportive presence, until that feeling has passed.
When applied to our inner experience, this metaphor helps us understand what kind of attitude we can try to adopt: we mustbecome a loving parent againthat the child did not receive at the very moment when the emotion crystallized.
From emotional release to mental clarity
When our openness allows us to embrace the experience (and the emotions, feelings, and sensations associated with it) that drives us and to give it space, blocked energies and emotions will be able to start flowing again. Through this openness, the nervous system will be able to emerge from its state of shock and activate itsresilience.
The thought patterns and beliefs built around the ego will then dissolve. The way our minds interpreted our environment will also change, allowing us to perceive things with greaterclarity and simplicity.
Experience Presence and Inner Peace
In this space, it becomes much easier to realize that emotions are just aenergy flowwithin our being. We experience this movement as sensations. And we see that we are there before the movement, we are there during it, and we are still there after it, but that the movement does not define us.
This presents an opportunity to get a glimpse of ourinner natureand to experience thePresencethat we are beyond identifying with thoughts and identity.
The more this trust grows, the less conflict there is, and the more we can experience thenatural peacewhich lies at the heart of our Being: a peace that arises from our lack of conflict with experience.
Presence is the fruit of this openness.
Patrick BOULAN